WHAT is disturbing your peace?
The last 2 weeks have been cantankerous for me. LOTS has disturbed my peace. The last few days have seemed to allow room for some resolution (or smoothing over at the very least) of some of the larger irritants. I'm sure it had to do some with me swallowing my pride, :) but I also think I finally realized what was going on.
I have been doused with ice-cold opportunities to check my humility. & in pinpointing what the purpose might be in all these things, I then had the choice of what to do with them, instead of just being hurt or annoyed or frustrated or angry (or, um, all of the above all of the time.)
Granted, just because I had a choice of what to do with it, didn't make it easy to suck up my irritation and be the first to ask about the building tension with my boss, go a little bit (I'm still working on it) past my hurt and ask Heavenly Father to help me forgive my earthly father for things which I have been offended by, allow forgiveness of self when a painful realization dawned, and allow a bunch of other things to roll off my back rather than keep them attached and burdening me with weight, pain, grief, frustration, and irritation. Really, there is a huge temptation in wanting to carry that weight because we feel like it justifies something. Silly. But real. It's hard to let go of a really justified grudge.
But it's so worth it. & I really needed a reminder and a chance to let the letting-go, turning-it-over-to-God, and genuine forgiveness (it's still a work in progress), all become powerful, noted, recent, and specific parts of my life and heart again. It's been a REALLY long time since I felt this bombarded with so many unfairnesses. Like High-School-long-time-ago. So I really am grateful for the pride-check and for the chance to really re-evaluate my current battles and expression of self when I get vocal while peeved.
I have to say thank you to my friends and family who have TRULY been my cushion which has kept me from breaking. Thank you for letting me vent my head and heart out to each of you. Every day. I cannot say thanks enough. Thanks for the understanding, the sympathy, the empathy, the sarcasm, the wit & humor, the laughs, the hugs, the wise advice and quiet, listening ear. You are my favorite people in the whole world, and THANK YOU for being your beautifully unique and insiring selves. Please know today, and every day, that you make a difference in my life.
The last 2 weeks have been cantankerous for me. LOTS has disturbed my peace. The last few days have seemed to allow room for some resolution (or smoothing over at the very least) of some of the larger irritants. I'm sure it had to do some with me swallowing my pride, :) but I also think I finally realized what was going on.
I have been doused with ice-cold opportunities to check my humility. & in pinpointing what the purpose might be in all these things, I then had the choice of what to do with them, instead of just being hurt or annoyed or frustrated or angry (or, um, all of the above all of the time.)
Granted, just because I had a choice of what to do with it, didn't make it easy to suck up my irritation and be the first to ask about the building tension with my boss, go a little bit (I'm still working on it) past my hurt and ask Heavenly Father to help me forgive my earthly father for things which I have been offended by, allow forgiveness of self when a painful realization dawned, and allow a bunch of other things to roll off my back rather than keep them attached and burdening me with weight, pain, grief, frustration, and irritation. Really, there is a huge temptation in wanting to carry that weight because we feel like it justifies something. Silly. But real. It's hard to let go of a really justified grudge.
But it's so worth it. & I really needed a reminder and a chance to let the letting-go, turning-it-over-to-God, and genuine forgiveness (it's still a work in progress), all become powerful, noted, recent, and specific parts of my life and heart again. It's been a REALLY long time since I felt this bombarded with so many unfairnesses. Like High-School-long-time-ago. So I really am grateful for the pride-check and for the chance to really re-evaluate my current battles and expression of self when I get vocal while peeved.
I have to say thank you to my friends and family who have TRULY been my cushion which has kept me from breaking. Thank you for letting me vent my head and heart out to each of you. Every day. I cannot say thanks enough. Thanks for the understanding, the sympathy, the empathy, the sarcasm, the wit & humor, the laughs, the hugs, the wise advice and quiet, listening ear. You are my favorite people in the whole world, and THANK YOU for being your beautifully unique and insiring selves. Please know today, and every day, that you make a difference in my life.
I love you!
I'd have to admit that when my peace feels disturbed the only way I can really get it back is by turning more towards God.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your righteous example. Keep it up chicka, you're awesome!