I'm happy to report that things have settled in my heart a little...I'm certainly not at the same place I was last week. My heart was hurting, I was weary and tired and ready for a safe place to be valued without question.
I found myself asking how to get through things better...how to have more faith, more trust, and how to exercise those when I find myself at my rope’s end, tying my knot, and settling in for the long haul. How do I learn to trust more and know that I won’t be left there forever?
I had so many questions...what more do I need to learn? What can I take from these trials? When do I draw the line and say I’ve had enough rejection and enough hurt? Do I need to change my course entirely? And how do I increase my faith so I can walk through this better?
And I already know my answer...
Remember the sweet things. Choose faith over frustration and fear. How I feel is a direct result of what I choose to think about and dwell on. And there IS hope for me. AND I have the added blessing of my family being close now.
I want to walk through this with grace and courage and strength. For my faith and hope to shine as a light to myself and others. To have hope that is persistent and faith that combats the toughest attacks, and which lends me the strength I need in times of heartache and trouble.
Sometimes the Lord keeps us off certain roads so we are available to take the one He’s intending for us. And what feels like being overlooked is actually being preserved and reserved. The Atonement is real, and is always available to bless and strengthen us…to help remove the sharpness of the pain, and it’s MY choice how I want to walk the path. Because the path is going to be the same, but I can choose to walk with less pain and frustration and sorrow, and to choose to still find joy in the journey. I don’t know how to do it much better than what I’m already doing, but I can always improve the details, and the Spirit is a wonderful teacher and guide.
SO…my 4 goals from this are:
- Maintain an eternal perspective.
- Choose faith, trust, and joy – in my future, in my present, and in the Lord’s plan for me!
- Find humor in everyday life (and spread it!!)
- Enjoy the journey. The ups, the downs, the in-betweens. This is MY life, and I want to love all of it!!
One of my favorite quotes from General Conference last fall was
Faith is more than a feeling -
it's a choice.
It certainly isn't always easy to make that choice, but life experience has proven to me that when I do, I'm happier. And that's well worth it to me!
