9-9-07

I ran across this poem I had written in a notebook dated 9-9-07. It made me smile tonight. : )

Why me?

Why choose me?

Of all the pretty smiles and attractive faces in the room -

Why pick me?

What do I have to offer you?

Sell yourself to me.

Now - go:

Begin.

I'm waiting.

Why am I doing this?

Why am I playing this game?

I shouldn't have to to sell myself.

This is ridiculous.

But I'm here involuntarily voluntarily.

& I can't leave unless I can fall in love

MUTUALLY.

Enough to want to be married.

And then actually do it.

Honestly -

It's a miracle this ever happens.

*sigh*

Here goes:

I could tell you all the facts -

the town I grew up in,

where my family lives,

how many siblings,

where I fit in,

where I work,

where I live,

what kind of music and food I like,

& what I like to do for fun.

But here's what's important to me:

I LOVE the gospel.

I want to be righteous and faithful every day

for the rest of my life.

I'm imperfect -

but I always keep trying.

Life can be tough

But I'm tougher - because I have God

and the Atonement of His Son

on my side.

The Spirit is my companion.

He still will be even when I marry.

I want children.

I want a warm, happy home.

I don't cook fantastically -

but I do alright.

More importantly, I want to be better.

I want to be great!

And I want to love being in the kitchen.

I'm usually patient.

And I want to be moreso.

I enjoy family gatherings.

& I think my family is highly dysfunctional.

But still good.

I love the outdoors.

I love being active.

I want to take starlit walks with the person I love.

I want to support my husband.

Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually.

Not monatarily.

I want my home and family to be my career.

I want to be available

AT HOME

for my children and husband as the world becomes more sinister.

I want to pray morning & night with my husband.

I want to read scriptures together

I want to have spiritual discussions.

I want to attend the temple together

Regularly.

I want to serve a mission with my spouse later in life.

At least one.

I want to serve in the temple.

I want to teach my children

to love the Lord

to love to work

how to achieve goals

how to be strong and righteous.

I want to climb mountains

and bicycle

as a family.

I want to learn how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey

and have family traditions.

I want to be there for my spouse

through the good and bad of life.

I want to never have to walk away again.

I want to sing hymns as lullabies

and memorize Beatles songs.

I want trees in the yard

- climbing trees -

& grass.

I want happy loungey evenings sometimes.

I want interesting dinner topics

including what you did today

- I mostly want conversation at dinner

together

all around.

I want to greet my husband with a kiss each morning

as we wake from slumber.

Ignore the bad breath - the kiss is imperative.

I want to kiss goodbye

and hug hello - all the time.

Kissing hello works too.

But that hug...

that's a miracle-worker.

I want to hold my husband

when he breaks down

and I want to be held by him

when I do.

I want to come 2nd in my husband's life-

God 1st, then me.

That's imperative to me.

I want to grow

and strengthen,

and I want to do that in marriage.

My favorite cereal right now is Cinnamon Life

or Grape Nuts.

Green is my favorite color.

I'm not too picky about flowers -

but lilies

or white roses

have special meaning to me right now.

I love tulips most of all

& I still sleep with my teddy bear.

& I LOVE camping.

What about you?